Only in America do people order double cheese burgers with bacon, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America do we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America are there handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink.
Only in America do banks leave bank vaults open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures.'
Only in America can Walt Disney have made so much money and have been afraid of mice.
Only in America is flying so safe that we call the airport terminal.
Only in America are most nudists people you don't want to see naked.
Only in America people in the 60's took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Only in America can one careless match start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.